A Journey of Love

They say every pregnancy/birth is different. I know now firsthand how very true this is. I had a fairly easy first pregnancy. I was nauseous up to my 7th month, nothing helped! However, I was not scared at all. I gained a scary amount of weight but it didn't bother me at the time. My mucous plug fell a week before Gabriel's arrival while I happen to be at Babies R US. Exactly a week later my water broke! That is when it got a little scary. In fact there is a photo somewhere taken within minutes of my water breaking and I look petrified.
When I was given the epidural I jumped a little...making the doc pissed off at me. Hey that thing hurt more than people let on! After 15 hours I was ready to push. I remember this clearly because my epidural wore off by 9 cm and I was feeling everything! What was the pain like? Well someone asked me a few hours later and I answered with..it felt like someone stabbing you from the inside or being hit by a train. After two very long hours of pushing, I became a mama.
That's when everything became a little blurry. I remember nurses rushing around and someone telling Henry, if I passed out I may not come to. I had a fever and things weren't looking so good. After a week long stint in the hospital we made it!
My dreams were coming true! After I had Gabe, I decided that I wanted more than anything to stay home with my kids one day. I also wanted to be able to grow old and have a house full of grandchildren. Holidays would be completely blissful with all the chaos and noise! I never thought for a moment this wouldn't come true.
8 years later I was diagnosed with SLE, a form of Lupus. My doctor told me if I wanted to have more kids, I should get on it. However I had to be in remission for the best outcome. The odds of me carrying to term or having a successful pregnancy were not good at this point. I tried coming to terms with possibly not having more kids. I had not been in remission since I was diagnosed.
In March of 2012, I took a pregnancy test. I was only a few days late but I hadn't been feeling good. Did I mention I was pretty paranoid and took tests like every other month? This test came out different than the rest. Not sure of what it meant, I reread the box...it was POSITIVE! I was shocked/excited/scared all at the same time. When I went to the doctor, she assured me I was in fact in remission. We were both healthy and progressing well.

I knew it would be difficult telling Gabe. I tried putting it off till I started showing. He had been my only for 10 years after all. I tried hinting here and there. He was not having it. I made the mistake of telling him in the car while I was driving. Let's just say he tried removing himself from the moving vehicle. He may be a little dramatic (probably got that from his dad ;)) but he means the world to me. He did not like discussing the baby throughout the pregnancy and I was a little worried for when she was actually here.
My pregnancy was a little different this time. I had a few injections and infusions but baby girl was healthy throughout. Every day I was scared. Every day I prayed. This little unexpected miracle had to be healthy. I was so scared that something would happen. My doctor tried preparing me for possible outcomes after birth.

On October 17 our world was changed forever. We welcomed our beautiful baby girl. As you may have read in my first post, my labor and delivery was nothing like my first. We were both healthy and were released the very next day. Brother could not be more happy! In fact he offered to help as much as he can. I can't tell you how full my heart is. I have been blessed more than I can ever imagine. This is a dream come true :-)